"All Mothers are Working Mothers": Stay At Home Moms

Introduction
Stay at home mothers take a lot of criticism in popular media as women who essentially do nothing but lounge around all day while their husbands slave away to bring home their subsistence incomes. Television caters to this misconception, constantly reinforcing the traits that America has come to associate unemployed mothers with. This point of view simply does not measure up to reality. In fact, it can be shown that while some may fit the stereotypes being earnestly reinforced by popular media, many stay at home mothers actually work the equivalent of a sixty to an eighty hour week. Depending on how demanding the husband's work is, the wife may not even get the opportunity for sick days or vacation time away from household responsibility.In our presentation, we interview and analyze three women who all chose to be stay at home mothers, but in their own way.

Purpose
The purpose of our research is to debunk myths about stay-at-home mothers by bringing to light the duties and responsibilities they carry in the home. We plan to do this by showing the day-to-day lives of stay-at-home mothers and the kind of work they perform in their daily routines. We want to know the duties of stay-at-home mothers as well as the challenges they face; we are interested in understanding the obstacles that stay-at-home mothers encounter on a daily basis as well as the obstacles they face in how they are perceived by others. In order to carry out this purpose, we will be interviewing Zola Thurmond, Sarah Hopkins, and Daisy Luo, three stay-at-home mothers from different backgrounds. Zola and Daisy both work from home, while Sarah is a more “traditional” stay-at-home mother and handles primarily domestic labor. By interviewing three women from different backgrounds, with different responsibilities, and different numbers of children, we will be able to present a picture of how varied the lives of stay-at-home mothers can be without stereotyping them.

Interviews

Zola Thurmond
“Say for instance your working a 9-5 job, at least when you come home you know the job is done. BUT with a stay-at-home mom, her job is 24 hours a day...7 days a week.” This scenario holds true for millions of stay-at-home moms in America. Zola being a stay-at-home mom to a politician and one 19-year-old daughter has a lot of wisdom about the ins and outs of being a stay at home and can definitely recognize the perks and disadvantages of her position. Being a stay-at-home mom is one of the biggest sacrifices a woman can make, but if “it's your calling” Zola Thurmond has proven that sacrifice will certainly turn into a rewarding decision. Zola recognizes the stereotypes of being a stay at home mother and directly stated that “Some of you women are thinking... wow here is another one trying to live an easy life, but I kid you not it's a challenge one of the and most important things that I could ever do.” Shows like Desperate Housewives and The Real Housewives, many have formed the belief that stay at home moms have nothing more to do all day long, as they wait for their children to come home, other than waste their time on frivolous activities and spend their husbands money. Zola “hates those shows, [she] doesn't even watch them” because they create a complete misconceptions about stay at home moms and the lives they lead. We believe that Zola's strength lies in her confidence and determination to be a support system to her husband and daughter. And despite whatever stereotypes being held against stay-at-home moms, she knows that this was her “purpose and wouldn't trade THIS life for the world!”



Sarah Hopkins
“Nobody is perfect. I make mistakes. I am not a perfect parent but through trial and error I learned that raising children and being a homemaker can be one of the most rewarding and difficult journeys.” This is the maxim by which Sara Hopkins lives by with her job. She graduated from the University of Georgia with a degree in Fashion Merchandising, yet she claims, “I always wanted children and a home to enrich my life.” Mrs. Hopkins wasn’t planning on being the stereotypical wife that, in her words, “lays around and eats bon-bons, takes bubble baths, and watches soap operas all day.” Like most homemakers, Mrs. Hopkins will admit that being a mom and a homemaker is a full time job. The job has to be done 24/7 through church activities, social lives, family obligations, sporting events, household duties, and other commitments. Mrs. Hopkins claims that one of the most difficult aspects of what she does is “Maintaining sanity with an upbeat attitude because there is a lot of repetition and reinforcement going towards raising children and maintaining a household and it can get very repetitive and demanding.” Her goals are simple: lay a moral foundation for her household and children so that the children will grow up with integrity and the will to have a successful and happy life. Her and her husband split up responsibilities simply. Mrs. Hopkins does everything around the house while Dr. Hopkins provides the income for the family. However, she claims, “My husband and I both had a huge hand in raising the children with morals, Christian values, and good discipline.” Now, with two children ages 18 and 22, she states the most rewarding aspect of her life as a housewife through the full time job and non-stop work is “having a successfully run home and seeing the happiness and achievements of my children—not many jobs receive this kind of reward.” Through Mrs. Hopkins’s everyday life in being a homemaker and mother, there is no way one could consider what she does nothing other than a full-time, difficult, yet rewarding job.


Daisy Luo
“Being a stay at home mom is the most rewarding job.” This was the number one point Daisy Luo wanted to emphasize when asked about her perception of stay at home mothers and the role they play. After growing up in a household where her mother was always home with her and her four siblings, Daisy wishes she could have sacrificed more of herself and more of her time for her own family. Daisy does not play the stereotypical role of the stay at home mom because she did work in a office for part of the day while her son Kevin was growing up, but she played the role of the “part-time soccer mom” and made sure that she was there everyday to take him to school, pick him up from school, participate in his life daily, and be there for her family in the household. Because of this Daisy was forced to do more “juggling” in her everyday life to fit in time for all her responsibilities, placing a lot of pressure on her own shoulders to make herself available for daily household activities. “Being there for your children is the most important thing you can do. You don’t want to miss the milestones, what if they say their first word at day care and you’re not there for it? No money can replace it.” This is why she does not regret the hardships and the pressure she placed on herself throughout the years because it is what she wanted to do. She wanted her family to know they were the number one job in her life, and that it was a job she was happy to do. Work in an office and other responsibilities were endured out of financial needs rather than a want to be in the workplace. “Financially if you can afford to stay at home I’m all for it. It takes a certain mental maturity to do the job of a stay at home mother.” Today, Daisy works as a free lance Realtor and is able to operate business on her own time out of her own home, so she has more freedom to be there for her family. Although her son Kevin is now out of the house at college, she still makes her self present in his everyday life so she won’t miss out on any of the important milestones that come along with watching her family grow.

Conclusion
After interviewing these phenomenal housewives or homemakers as they rather refer themselves as, we understand that being a stay-at-home mom is having a full time job because their job consists of dedicating their life, devoting their time, and putting their family as the number one priority. All three mothers agree that being a homemaker is a 24-7 job and a big sacrifice for a woman to make but it is also the most rewarding job. Like any other occupation women hold, these stay-at-home mothers love what they do for their family and gain a great fulfillment from it. Only one of the women interviewed was guilty of believing the stereotype that housewives are simply living an easy rich life but she has come to see that it is a challenging role. Being a homemaker goes beyond the stereotypical tasks of cooking, cleaning, and shopping. Rather, it’s a job that allows a mother to constantly provide time and support to her family, which can, at times, involve giving up something she loves to do. Being a homemaker is something a woman has to be mentally prepared for. Though women do have rights to employment that were not always available, women are not obligated to have a 9 to5 occupation. Just like those who are teachers because they love children and knew they always wanted to teach, or doctors who have a passion for helping people, the homemakers that we interviewed felt the same way about what they do. Not only do they find their contributions to their family and the home rewarding, but also look at the success of their husbands and well mannered children as a glorious product of devoting all of their time to being at home and always available to their families.

Group Reflection
This interview project allowed us to realize that as a group we too held many preconceived notions regarding stay at home mothers. Through interviewing Zola, Sarah, and Daisy we came to realize that being a stay at home mom is a joy for these women rather than a task. We originally thought that women were almost forced into these stereotypical gender roles, but they helped us see that just as they have a choice to enter into the workforce they also have the choice to stay inside the home to provide for their families. All three women were extremely easy to get in contact with and truly displayed their nurturing personalities and willingness to be there when needed. After finishing all three of our interviews, we were excited to share our new found perceptions on this specific group of women because we felt their insights were so relevant to help dispel all the myths people believe from seeing shows like Desperate Housewives or any of the Real Housewives series. We read a quote from an Unknown Author that said, “All mothers are working mothers” and we are glad we have been given the chance to show people this through our interviews and blogs.